TONIGHT is Hilloula of Ohr haHaim haKadoch – Rav Haim ben Attar from Morocco
– Light a candle in his Memory and pray to Hashem that you are answered in his merit.
Allumez une bougie.
TONIGHT is Hilloula of Ohr haHaim haKadoch – Rav Haim ben Attar from Morocco
– Light a candle in his Memory and pray to Hashem that you are answered in his merit.
Allumez une bougie.
The Evil Eye. What is it?
A jealous heart against another can cause damage upon someone by casting their eyes upon him or her. We find it in the Chumash – Bilaam had an evil eye that could cause damage to others. Modesty saves from the evil eye.
Understanding the Evil Eye
Someone explained to me the concept of the Evil Eye. Hash-m is very receptive to the desires and thoughts of every person. One of the 13 principle’s of Judaism of the Rambam is that Hash-m knows a person thoughts.
If a person looks at someone and sees that he has an item that he does not have – G-d opens up both of their books. He sees if the person is really deserving of the item and this causes a judgement to occur. If the person deserves the item – good. If he does not G-d allows harm to occur to the item or the person.
In the Torah we find hundreds of references of the evil eye:
Sarah (apparently inadvertently) cast an evil eye upon her maidservant Hagar causing her to miscarry. Miriam – Moses sister – in the Torah calls Moshe’s wife “cushite” / black because she was beautiful to avoid giving her the evil eye. Bilaam tried to cast his evil eye upon the people of Israel.
The Talmud (Bava_Metzia.107b) talks about the Evil Eye.There Rav once went to a graveyard. He found that 99 out of 100 people die of the Evil Eye and 1 out of Natural causes.
§ The Gemara returns to expounding the themes of blessings and the evil eye. The Torah states: “And the Lord will take away from you all sickness” (Deuteronomy 7:15). In interpreting this verse, Rav says: This verse is speaking about the evil eye. The Gemara comments: Rav conforms to his line of reasoning, as Rav went to a graveyard, and did what he did, i.e., he used an incantation to find out how those buried there died, and he said: Ninety-nine of these died by the evil eye, and only one died by entirely natural means.
This being the case – if a person – G-d forbid – becomes ill – in addition to the medical remedies he or she should take – it makes sense to also remove the evil eye from that person. In the beginning of the virus quarantine – someone I know was not feeling well. Their wife used an old Moroccan Jewish tradition (Tebhera) to rid oneself of the evil eye. That person eventually got better.
Tebhera is a mixture of certain spices that are placed in a pan and burned to make incense. Done properly it cause the evil eye to depart. Moroccan Jews of old know how to remove the evil eye. I remember my cousin was once ill before his bar mitzvah. His Moroccan grandmother living with him took a belt – folded it in half. She did some kind of procedure with her hands on the belt and he felt better.
Rabbi Ben Chetrit (in french) describes the whole process of the Evil Eye in a video (Le Mauvais Oeil)
One of the things he mentions is Yosef HaTzadik – Joseph the Son of Jacob – was guarded from the evil eye. How – because he was modest and separated from jealousy and materialism he was guarded from the evil eye.
Below is an article translated in English from dafina.net about ways to protect oneself.
Should we be afraid of the evil eye? How does it work? Here are some explanations to protect yourself from this phenomenon.
Stuck in quarantine for 3 months gave us time to think. We were deprived of our normal lifestyle – no restaurants – no minyan – no outings with friends – no vacations.
G-d does things for a purpose. Obviously there is a message He was sending us. Did we get it? What did we learn?
One thing that out to strike us – is the importance of appreciation of life.
We learn in Pirkei Avot – the last section 6:11 –
All Created for Honor of Hash·m
11. Everything that the Holy One, Blessed be He, created in this world He only created for His honor, as it says: “Everything that is called in My Name & in my Honor, I created it, I formed it, Even I made it.” (Yeshaya 43:7) And it says: “The L·rd shall reign forever. (Shemot 16:18)
Rabbi H’anania ben A’kashia says: The Holy One, Blessed be He, wanted to give merit to Yisrael, therefore He increased for them Torah & Mitzvot, as it says: “The L·rd & desired – because of His righteousness – to increase Torah & make it mighty.” (Yeshaya / Isaiah 42:21)
Rashi there explains the word “Honor” with “His Praise”
Rashi clarifies a great point in life. By reading the Saying above – we may think that G-d is seeking Honor. Rashi explains that this Honor is praise. This means that everything in the world was created so that we can praise Hashem / G-d.
This is a great lesson. Many people live for pleasure. For them Pleasure is an ends. To Torah Observant Jews – pleasure is a means to an ends – to praise Hash-m.
I enjoy an ice cream – I say a blessing before to give thanks to my creator for creating ice cream. So in a simple act I not only enjoy myself – but by saying a food blessing on the ice cream and appreciating the ice cream – I can become closer to my Creator.
Thus every act I do now has a purpose. I live purposefully every second for every second there is something for which to be thankful.
I am a bit surprised that the Orthodox Synagogues are not full of new members. I would think that after the pandemic – people would be grateful for everything they took for granted. I am surprised that people don’t flood them and give thanks to the gracious G-d that allowed them to survive the virus and all the time they lived till today.
Are We Smarter than The Ancient Egyptians?
The Egyptians received 10 plagues for all the torture and pain that they caused the Jews. If they had said – you know G-d is probably rebuking us for our deeds against the Jews – they would have been spared by the plagues. To them Apparently the plagues was another problem to deal with. Once it was over they went back to being their former unchanged selves. The intelligent person learns from the message of G-d.
What message can we take from the pandemic?
With Kids at the House these days most of the day it is important to have home media protection. Having home schooling – on the phone, tablet and video conferences – with teachers at tutors – it is easier for kids to slip into using the technology for gaming and improper activities.
What is the prudent parent to do?
As in a previous article we mentioned – the 70 ways to prevent others from misusing technology. One way is to minimize exposure – Buy a flip phone instead of a smart phone.
But for the home working parent – the computer sometimes is an essential tool. So what to do?
Here are 3 quick Suggestions:
I suggest firstly to disable any apps or programs that you do not use. Apple computers and iphones are able to disable entire applications – like the web browser and other apps. Android phones are able to do the same thing but it might have required programs. Usually you disable a program by going to the settings and disabling particular apps. If you are not computer savvy – some responsible adults that are computer savvy may be able to help you.
In android and Apple systems you can disable appps by going into settings or Play store. You can also get an “app lock” program for your phones that requires a password to access certain apps.
2. Secondly is to have internet filters.
Internet Filters either block or monitor which internet sites are used. They can block time periods or administer how many hours are used.
There are 3 sorts of filters –
ISP Level – One from the internet service provider (isp) – the company that provides the service.
Router Level – One kind of filter that is placed upon the router.
Device Level – One filter that is on the device itself. Like Computers, Tablets and smart phones.
For the router or device one can implement opendns.com system. it is fairly simple to install. They have a Free version that one can easily install in minutes.
Other filters include – Norton Family Filter.
3. Control Who uses the internet
Certain Routers let you control who logs on. who will have access to the wifi, who to block and who to give access to.
You have to access your router by following your routers instrutcions on how to log on. For instance on a Fios system one uses – myfiosgateway.com. contact your ISP to find out how.
It is good to have redundant filters. Or more than one. If one does not work – the other might prevent access to unwanted sites and sights.
Turn off wifi – when not being used from your home internet router. On your phone disable Mobile hotspot and Put an app lock on “Settings” app and “playstore” app.
The world in Quarantine. So many questions. Why? What is this all about? Is it a message from G-d? What can we do? Where can I find clarity?
Finding clarity will help you push away the non-essential and focus on the important.
The First thing a person should do to find clarity – is to pray to Hash-m / G-d to help you find clarity. We receive mixed messages – what we think is good may be the opposite and vice versa. What we are told to avoid may be beneficial and vice versa. Where can we find truth?
Hash-m Wants us to Improve Our ways
Hash-m / the G-d of the Jews is Truth. If you want to find truth – pray to Him to help you find truth. G-d is obviously sending us a message to improve our ways – to become better people.
Most people want to become better. Self-help books are the best sellers in many bookstores.
A Simple Starting Point
So where to start? A simple place to start is the 7 or 10 commandments. For Non-Jews – G-d gave 7 Noahide laws for all people. – which by following them will allow a gentile to receive a place in heaven. To the Jews He gave 10 commandments – that are the basis of our 613 commandments – that allow a Jew a place in Heaven. For a Jew it is good to start observing the Shabbat. Also it is good to avoid speaking Lashon HaRa / Negative Speech about others.
That is the Starting point of the regiment is to Seek truth. One of the things that the quarantine has accomplished – is to help people put priorities into perspective. If G-d wants us to improve – he will help people who are sincerely seeking to better themselves survive.
Thus reading Jewish self-improvement works – like Pirkei Avot, avoiding speaking badly about others, avoiding negativity are all recommended.
I read the guidelines for preventing getting Corona Virus (COVID19) – from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO).
They are pretty similar. Basically – stay clean. Keep away from unwell people.
Pretty logical. But I think they must be supplemented. Their guidelines are passive ways to prevent getting the virus. In a case of such an outbreak – one must be proactive to avoid getting the virus.
In the prevention of ailments – there are three aspects – the spiritual aspect, the mental/emotional aspect and the physical aspect. Regarding some of the Spiritual Methods to avoid getting the Virus – we spoke about them in the previous post. Now let’s look at physical Methods for prevention.
G-d gave us a Commandment of the Torah – to remain healthy. “You shall guard very much your soul.”
Concurrently with the spiritual preventive measures, Firstly a person should:
1. Have a Positive Attitude.
Believing in Hash-m / G-d – enables you to have a more positive attitude. G-d does everything for the good.
My friend once said If you put your trust in the stock market – if your stock goes up you are happy – if your stock goes down you are sad. But if you believe in G-d everything that happens, you will think it is for the good. Even if your stock goes down – you will find a good reason for why it is good. G-d is Good – so whatever happens must be good. Instead of basing your life’s happiness on your perspective of the situation – which is not in your hands – you base your happiness on the belief that G-d is good – which does not change. You can be happy all the time.
Fear Kills – How to Let Go
Part of having a positive attitude means letting go of fear. There are visualization techniques that allow a person to relieve himself / herself of fear.
The Danger of Fear
The great Rabbi and Physician – Maimonides (the RAMBAM) – was the chief Physician of the Sultan in Egypt. His advisors said – why take a Jewish Doctor – there are plenty of good Arab Doctors. They convinced the Sultan to conduct a test to see who was a better Doctor.
The test was that each Physician was to prepare a poison for his fellow Doctor to drink. First the Arab Doctor prepared a deadly poison for the RaMbaM. He drank it. He fainted. His students quickly administered a remedy and the Rambam survived.
Then it was the turn of the other doctor to drink the poison of the Rambam. He drank the poison – he fainted and he died. They asked the Rambam what he put in his poison. He replied “I put no poison in the concoction. The Doctor did not die of the concoction – he died from fear.”
There is nothing to Fear but G-d Himself.
Believe it will be good and it will be good.
Once a Manic-Depressant came to King Solomon / Shlomo HaMelech to ask him for advice – he said he was at times very Joyous. Other times he was sad. “Please make me a ring that will make me calm when I am too joyous and give me a boost when I am sad. Shlomo HaMelech engraved on a ring “This Will Also Pass.”
We traveled the path of life. We had good times and more difficult ones. But we were able to weather the storm. We were able to ride the wave. This is no different.
2. Boost Up Your Immune System
In the Talmud – Baba Metzia 107b – it talks of the importance of Eating Bread in the Morning / Pat Shaharit.
The Gemara cites a related baraita: The Sages taught that thirteen matters of praise were stated with regard to a meal of bread eaten in the morning: It protects the diner from the heat, and from the cold, and from the winds, and from the harmful spirits; and it makes the simple wise, and one who consumes it will be victorious in judgment, he will merit to learn Torah and to teach it, and his statements are heard, and his study will remain in his possession. In addition, his flesh does not generate excess sweat, and he engages in intercourse with his wife at the proper time, and he does not lust for another woman, and this meal is so advantageous that it even kills any louse in his intestines. And some say it even removes jealousy and brings in love. Since he is completely healthy, he is not inclined to be angered by others.
In relation to the above baraita, Rabba said to Rava bar Mari: From where is this matter that people say derived: Sixty runners ran but could not catch the man who ate in the morning, and the Sages likewise said: Arise early and eat, in the summer due to the sun and in the winter due to the cold, so that one’s body should have the strength to withstand the climate.
The best bread to eat is whole grain bread. One should eat at least 56 grams (A Beitza) within a 4 to 7 Minutes. Make sure the bread is bread. Meaning bread that contains no sweeteners – like sugar or honey.
Eating dates in the morning also strengthens the body. I think 3 or 4 dates daily will be helpful.
Doctors recommend eating much vitamin C to boost the immune system. Nowadays the NYC Hospitals are giving doses of 1500 mg. daily to corona patients – learning it’s potency from chinese doctors.
Obviously – like with the use of vitamins – the beneficial effects of eating Bread in the Morning comes after regular usage.
3. Avoid foods and things that may bring the ailments back.
In Talmud Berachot 57b – it talks about things that are beneficial for the health of a person.
In contrast, there are ten matters that cause a sick person who has recovered to suffer a relapse of his illness, and his illness is even more severe, and they are: Eating ox meat, eating fatty meat in general, eating roasted meat, eating poultry, eating a roasted egg, shaving, eating cress, drinking milk, eating cheese, and bathing in a bathhouse. And some say eating nuts, and some say even eating cucumbers.
Apparently most of these foods are protein rich. A virus is not alive. Viruses are not alive. They are protein strands that attach themselves to cells. They are multiplied by cells and they instruct the cells to do harm to the body. (see note below)
4. Do things and Eat Foods that make a body healthy.
In Talmud Berachot 57b – it talks about things that are beneficial for the health of a person.
Similarly: Six matters cure a sick person from his illness, and their cure is an effective cure. They are: Cabbage, beets, dried foley, a medicinal plant, the stomach, the placenta, and the diaphragm of an animal. Some say that small fish also possess these qualities. Furthermore, small fish cause one’s entire body to flourish and become healthy.
Drinking lot’s of tea is also helpful. Sleep is also an important factor in assuring the body is healthy. Now-a-days people glued to the news lose. It’s better to get a good night’s sleep than to know what’s happening in the world. The RamBaM / Maimonides recommends 8 hours of sleep a night.
5. Put Into Place Tests & Remedies
A person may want to hold their breath for 10 seconds to see if they are affected by the COVID19.
A Dr. From China said that drinking water boiled with Lemon slices (3) helps clear the the throat of the corona virus. Others say that Drinking Hot tea also kills the virus. Apparently the virus can survive until 126 degrees Fahrenheit.
A Doctor from John Hopkins University said that listerine might help in reducing the virus in the throat.
A person should avoid Advil – they found that Advil increases the virus infection.
A person should avoid 5G phones and their radiation. Some say that when the 5G towers increased – people became more susceptible to this virus.
Pray to Hash-m. Make your hishtadloot – effor to stay safe. Stay healthy. And Hash-m will help. Amen.
WHO Guidelines for Prevention:
You can protect yourself and help prevent spreading the virus to others if you:
• Wash your hands regularly for 20 seconds, with soap and water or alcohol-based hand rub
• Cover your nose and mouth with a disposable tissue or flexed elbow when you cough or sneeze
• Avoid close contact (1 meter or 3 feet) with people who are unwell
• Stay home and self-isolate from others in the household if you feel unwell
• Touch your eyes, nose, or mouth if your hands are not clean
The following is from an Asst. Prof in infectious diseases at Johns Hopkins University:
In our community chat, here, they sent this excellent summary to avoid contagion 👾. I share it with you because it is very clear:
* The virus is not a living organism, but a protein molecule (DNA) covered by a protective layer of lipid (fat), which, when absorbed by the cells of the ocular, nasal or buccal mucosa, changes their genetic code. (mutation) and convert them into aggressor and multiplier cells.
* Since the virus is not a living organism but a protein molecule, it is not killed, but decays on its own. The disintegration time depends on the temperature, humidity and type of material where it lies.
* The virus is very fragile; the only thing that protects it is a thin outer layer of fat. That is why any soap or detergent is the best remedy, because the foam CUTS the FAT (that is why you have to rub so much: for 20 seconds or more, to make a lot of foam). By dissolving the fat layer, the protein molecule disperses and breaks down on its own.
* HEAT melts fat; this is why it is so good to use water above 25 degrees Celsius for washing hands, clothes and everything. In addition, hot water makes more foam and that makes it even more useful.
* Alcohol or any mixture with alcohol over 65% DISSOLVES ANY FAT, especially the external lipid layer of the virus.
* Any mix with 1 part bleach and 5 parts water directly dissolves the protein, breaks it down from the inside.
* Oxygenated water helps long after soap, alcohol and chlorine, because peroxide dissolves the virus protein, but you have to use it pure and it hurts your skin.
* NO BACTERICIDE SERVES. The virus is not a living organism like bacteria; they cannot kill what is not alive with anthobiotics, but quickly disintegrate its structure with everything said.
* NEVER shake used or unused clothing, sheets or cloth. While it is glued to a porous surface, it is very inert and disintegrates only between 3 hours (fabric and porous), 4 hours (copper, because it is naturally antiseptic; and wood, be
cause it removes all the moisture and does not let it peel off and disintegrates). ), 24 hours (cardboard), 42 hours (metal) and 72 hours (plastic). But if you shake it or use a feather duster, the virus molecules float in the air for up to 3 hours, and can lodge in your nose.
* The virus molecules remain very stable in external cold, or artificial as air conditioners in houses and cars. They also need moisture to stay stable, and especially darkness. Therefore, dehumidified, dry, warm and bright environments will degrade it faster.
* UV LIGHT on any object that may contain it breaks down the virus protein. For example, to disinfect and reuse a mask is perfect. Be careful, it also breaks down collagen (which is protein) in the skin, eventually causing wrinkles and skin cancer.
* The virus CANNOT go through healthy skin.
* Vinegar is NOT useful because it does not break down the protective layer of fat.
* NO SPIRITS, NOR VODKA, serve. The strongest vodka is 40% alcohol, and you need 65%.
* LISTERINE IF IT SERVES! It is 65% alcohol.
* The more confined the space, the more concentration of the virus there can be. The more open or naturally ventilated, the less.
* This is super said, but you have to wash your hands before and after touching mucosa, food, locks, knobs, switches, remote control, cell phone, watches, computers, desks, TV, etc. And when using the bathroom.
* You have to HUMIDIFY HANDS that are DRY from so much washing them, because the molecules can hide in the micro cracks. The thicker the moisturizer, the better. * Also keep your NAILS SHORT so that the virus does not hide there.
From Michele Assaf
G-d Gave the Jews the Torah. All is in it. (Pirkei Avot 5:22)
Louis Pasteur found the cure to rabies and the basis for immunization in the Talmud.
The Torah provides us with physical immunizations and cures and spiritual protection – through prayer and segulas. Some involve both.
Here are some spiritual protections that offer help:
To find out spiritual cures – one must first ask: “Why is G-d sending this virus?”
Just as a father reprimands a son or daughter to correct their behavior – so does Hash-m. His guide is the Torah.
Thus, We can offer a general solutions
If a person is Jewish – so we start by following the Shulchan Aruch.
If a Person is a Gentile – they start by observing the 7 Noahide laws from the Torah for all people.
2. Avoid Lashon Harah – Speaking badly of others. Add to that a dose of learning the Halachot of Lashon HaRa with family daily.
It is interesting that the One Who spoke Lashon HaRa frequently was subject to the ailment of Tzaraat. The Metzora had to stay in quarantine for a period of time until his ailments healed. He or She had to introspect about their speech having caused others to be isolated – now they are isolated.
3. Rabbi Haim Kanievski Wrote a letter saying – to be saved from virus – We should avoid lashon hara and be more mevater / yielding towards others.
4. Studying Torah protects the learner. Shluchei Mitzvot Einam Nizukim. Agents to do a Mitzvot are not harmed. Thus we give the traveler money to distribute to poor people when the person arrives at their destination. Since they are involved in bringing money for a poor person the are involved in a Mitzvah and thus protected.
Studying the Torah has an added benefit. The learner is not only protected when he or she learns – but even after the Torah study – the person is protected.
5. Recite Tehillim. – In times of Difficulties we recite Tehillim. Each Tehillim addresses a particular concern. Saying them in General is also good.
The Tehillim / Psalm against plagues is 91.
The Gemara in Maseches Shevuos, 15b, refers to Tehillim 91 as “Shir shel paga’im” or “Shir shel nega’im” – a special tefilla for protection from such plagues. This is a tefilla especially fitting for today.
Do this and take your precautions and pray and Hash-m will guard you. Amen.
Many years ago, I was a traditional Jew. What seemed a nice in Judaism to do – I would do. What didn’t fit into my lifestyle, I put aside. I would eat Kosher inside the house, but eat non-Kosher outside – when I went out with friends. I ate the Shabbat meal with family, but would go to see movies afterwards. I observed Judaism because of tradition.
I kept falling. Disregarding Torah & Mitzvot. Not because I was against it. I loved Judaism – but to me it was a nice tradition. In my descent from Judaism – G-d sent me a wake-up call – sufferings. One of my main concerns as a growing teen was – to be popular. This wake-up call taught me there is more to life than to win the popularity contest.
The sufferings made me introspective. I asked – “Why is G-d doing this to me? I am basically a good person.” I was. But I did have my areas to improve.
I decided that my quest of being popular had to take a back seat to being a good human being. I re-thought out my philosophy of life. I thought that G-d had a plan for me and I had to follow His rules rather than the path of popularity. In retrospect – the difficulties I suffered – were well worth what I gained.
The Corona Virus is an ailment that much of world fears. Millions of messages are sent daily – how to avoid it. But the person who wants to go to the root of the problem will ask not only – “How do I avoid it?” but “What does G-d want from me?”
G-d is in control of what happens to each individual in the world. He decides based upon the individuals actions. This – in Judaism – is called Middah Keneged Middah – measure for measure. The way a person acts towards others will come back to him or her. Act kind. Kindness will return to you. It also works for acting negatively.
We all have things to improve. Perhaps we must work on our anger or our generosity or our attitude towards others or our observance of Torah and Mitzvot. Most know what they have to work on to become a better individual. If we don’t we can study the works of Mussar / Jewish Ethics – Like Mesilat Yesharim – the Path of the Just, Pirkei Avot – the Ethics of the Fathers.
It seems with the Corona Virus – Hash-m / G-d is sending a message to each person. Define and refine yourself. It seems that fittest – in good qualities – will survive. Is changing one’s philosophy to follow the will of G-d worth it? It’s a much better bet than to wear a mask.
We are today in the messianic times. The Book of Zecharia talks about the Messainic times. It is interesting that in the 2nd Chapter of Zecharia it mentions that four “horns” are going to gore the world. A horn in Hebrew is the same word used for a Crown – Keren. In plural they ar caled carnot. (sounds like Corona). The Radak mentions that the world will be punished for Being against Israel in History. (ie, the pogroms, persecutions, holocaust, anti-semitism the UN that finds any reason to pass a resolution against Israel). The Commentaries say that the Messiah will come to remedy the situation.
In Zecharia 13:8 it mentions that one-third of the world will survive. Is this talking about Corona Virus? I don’t know – but one thing that is sure – is that it is up to us to take both spiritual and physical precautions – to be saved. On Yom Kippur we say – Teshuva / Repentance, Charity (to worthy Torah Causes) and prayer can save a person. Pray to Hash-m / G-d and He will help.
In the Talmud – Taanit 29a we learn
§ The mishna teaches that from when the month of Av begins, one decreases acts of rejoicing. Rav Yehuda, son of Rav Shmuel bar Sheilat, said in the name of Rav: Just as when Av begins one decreases rejoicing, so too when the month of Adar begins, one increases rejoicing.
A Segula / “Propituous Amulet” To get salvation from all difficulties is in the month of Adar – this month –
Write the following on a paper:
משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה
מזל אדר דגים
Draw a fish on the bottom of sign and post the sign in your home (some say opposite the door on the western wall).
It means “when Adar enters we increase the Joy. The zodiac sign of Adar is Fish. 🐟”
All the good blessings from Ohr Binyamin &
Live Better Forever
סגולה from הרב אברהם בן שבתי in his sefer ילקוט
In Parasha / the weekly Torah reading of Yitro – we learn points of effective communication.
Yitro – Moshe’s Father-in-Law & Former Priest of Idolotry turned convert to Torah Judaism – Comes to Moshe in the Desert after the splitting of the Sea of Reeds – with his daughter, Tzipporah & Grandchildren Gershom & Eliezer – Moshe’s Wife & Children. Moshe welcomes him and has a meal in his honor. The Next day He sees Moshe Judging the people. He is sitting everyone is standing. He asks him – what is he doing. Moshe responds – he is judging the people. Yitro Asks – Why are you doing it this way? If you continue you will wear yourself out. Why Not appoint trustworthy people as judges. You will become less worn out. Please ask Hash-m / G-d if this is a good solution.
The idea of communications is to help the other person make the best decision. Your goal is for the other’s best interest. You are a helper to help him or her find it.
If they make the decision – it is more likely that they will abide by it.
He are the 8 Steps:
You can use these principles with your workers, spouse, children, parents, clients, employees. You’ll get more results and help others instead of preaching what to do.