The Secret to Shalom Bayit – Peace at Home

I wear many hats – literally & figuratively. I wear a black fedora. Sometimes I wear a fez. Both fit – I was born in fez – where they wear those hats. I went to Yeshiva – where they wear black fedoras.

Over Rosh Hashana – I found myself auctioning the mitzvot of the day at the Synagogue. I told them a story – maybe I’ll relate it in another blog post.

I mentioned a Pirkei Avot (2:7) on Materialism & Torah:

7. He [the Great Sage Hillel] used to say –
more flesh, [leads to] more worms,
more property, more worry;
more women, more sorcery;
more maidservants, more lust;
more servants, more theft;
more Torah, more life;
more Yeshiva, more wisdom;
more counsel, more understanding; more charity, more peace.
One who acquired a good name he acquired it for himself. One who acquired words of Torah acquired life in the next world [ie, a portion in heaven].

I didn’t understand – what is the connection of more charity – with having more peace. At the Rosh HaShana Table – someone said – perhaps by you giving tzedaka / charity to a worthy person – they will have less financial stress and they will have peace at home. I heard that one of the main reasons for divorce or stress in the couple is financial concerns.

The Charity Dilemma

I thought and Hash-m enlightened me with an answer. My rebbe asked me a question – what is better – to give $1000 to one person or $1 to 1000 people? It’s better to do the latter. Giving $1 to a 1000 people trains you to be a giver.

Becoming a Givier

If a person gives tzedaka – he or she becomes a giver. One of the reasons for a lack of Shalom Bayit – peace at home is because we feel we have rights. We are due service. The man comes home – dinner is not ready the house is a mess.

The “taker” will say “Why is dinner not ready?” Why is the house such a mess?

The “giver” will take a broom and start cleaning up. He will go in the kitchen and ask if there is any way he can help.

Be a Giver.

Miracle at Surfside Tower

We pray to G-d / Hash-m for all the people in the collapse of the Surfside, Florida Tower to be recovered safely and alive.

At almost midnight – the night of the collapse – a woman in the Surfside Tower heard strange noises. She called the super. He said there is nothing to be concerned about. She wasn’t comfortable. She told her husband and family to evacuate the building. They all left with the car. They turned the corner and heard the building collapse.

They were saved.

G-d was watching out for them. They must have had a zechut – a merit. Perhaps that day they gave Tzedaka / charity to a Torah cause.

Tzedaka Tatzil MeMavet – Charity saves from death.