My friend Meyer was talking about happiness. He said a formula where a person can be mostly happy.
There is always a silver lining
I knew of the concept, but he brought is out clearer.
We know Hash-m / G-d is good. G-d does good always.
Now if something happens that we think is bad – I hurt my ankle, someone yelled at me, someone called me a name – given the givens – we should not be saddened. We should make an effort to brainstorm why that could be actually good.
Someone I know was in a bus accident. They were hurt. They thought why did that happen – they were on the way to do a mitzvah. Afterwards the doctor proscribed time off from work – allowing them to take care of important business while being paid.
Technically one can be happy all the time. It’s a matter of understanding why what we think is bad is actually good. Looking at the silver lining in the cloud and putting our focus on the silver lining rather than the cloud – is the formula.
Having this attitude – one can be happy all the time.
Everything is in the Hands of Heaven – except the fear of heaven.
Meaning – how much money you make is in Hash-m’s hands. How tall you will be. How long you will live.
But you have a choice on things that pertain to awe of heaven – whether you will be angry or calm, or bitter or better, sad or happy, composed or wild or a robber or a banker, to do good or bad.
This is called freedom of choice.
You choose whether to put your children into a public school or a Torah day school. You choose whether to spend the day shopping or the day with the family at the Shabbat table. G-d gives you the freedom.
If we had not this choice, we would basically be robots. We would not be able to be judged for our deeds.
Some say – he made me angry! He made me do it!
No one makes you do anything. You choose.
Your situation doesn’t cause your mood.
Heaven causes your situation. You yourself choose your mood and attitude.