I was talking to my friend after Shahrit / Morning Services. He asked me about a dentist who davens / prays with us – to know if he takes his insurance. I said “Call him up. It doesn’t hurt to ask.”
He said “Yea. It’s like my brother says:
“You already have a ‘No’, maximum you’ll get a ‘Yes’.”
or
“You already have a ‘No’ you can only gain by getting a ‘Yes’.”
You Can Only Gain
Many are reluctant to make that sales call, ask a person a question, ask them for a favor, or ask someone to marry them. Why? They avoid rejection. The above statement makes it easier to overcome that sensibility. By not making the sales call, or asking the question, or asking for the favor – you already have a “No”. Calling the person – you can only gain. If they say “Yes” great. If they say no – you certainly didn’t lose by trying.
No – You are Not lowered in the eyes of others because of a No
Receiving a “No” is not a reflection on you – it’s a reflection of the need of the moment. If you asked them to buy from your ice cream cart – and they just had a Triple Fudge Hot Sunday – it doesn’t reflect on you. You asked the right question. For him it wasn’t the right time. Maybe someone else it will be the right time. Perhaps tomorrow he will buy.
Secrets of a Good Fundraiser
But more than that. I took a fund raising course with Rabbi Yitz Greenman – it was around the time of Hurricane Sandy. Actually it was the Sunday that it hit. Fortunately I got home before. In any case – he mentioned many foundations of fundraising. One foundation he mentioned was :
“No” does not mean “No”
“No” means “no” for that particular moment. It is possible half an hour later the person will answer “yes”. Perhaps they are busy, perhaps they are eating, perhaps they are in a meeting. He told a story.
Learning from Children
A child asked a parent for ice cream before bedtime. The parent said “No”. Five minutes later they asked again. They say “No”. Three minutes later they ask again. They say “No. I told you before – why do you keep asking?” They respond “That ‘No’ was five minutes ago – now it might be ‘Yes’. The parent succumbs to the child’s cuteness and gives him the ice cream.
Children understand the concept. We can learn from everyone.