your child is knocking down things in your home office.
your office report is due.
people are relying on you for the report.
just then your child starts nagging and crying.
“i am justified in getting angry. let me belt out a yell and put things in order” – you think.
You lose it. You scream and scare the kid. then you realize he pulled your papers off the desk because he wanted to get his bottle.
he was thirsty. you got angry. you yelled at a hungry child.
poor child – no milk. no food. and he’s getting yelled at by his mother (or father).
let’s re-frame the situation.
the same happens –
on the verge screaming and scaring the kid. you realize he pulled your papers off the desk because he wanted to get his bottle. he was thirsty. you refrain from getting angry.
“What does this child want from me? Perhaps he is hungry.” Now your anger turns to mercy. This child didn’t eat all the time I was engrossed in my report.
you put the report on hold and feed the hungry child.
this happens frequently. One acts. We react. We react based upon – what is in my best interest.
The idea is to see the other person’s best interest as well.
both gain when we think for two.
Not just you.