Fourty days before the creation of a child, a heavenly voice proclaims: “So-and-so’s daughter for so-and-so’s son!” (Talmud: Sotah 29b) It declares the name of that person’s soul mate.
When a soul is sent down from heaven, it contains both male and female characteristics; the male elements enter the boy baby, the female the girl baby; and if they be worthy, G-d reunites them in marriage. (Zohar)
I heard once that there are 7 destined matches for each person. One is the person best suited to help the other reach their potential.
Thus, I give advice to a person that especially before they get married, they should make an effort to reinforce themselves in Torah and Mitzvot. Why? Because based upon one’s spiritual level is a person matched.
Finding the Right Soul Mate
Thus, if a person is frequenting bars, G-d will allow them to find the mate that frequents bars.
If one is observing the laws of eating Kosher, they will be likely matched with someone who wants to keep kosher.
If they are observing the Shabbat, they will be matched to someone similar.
If one is learning Torah, will G-d match them to someone who appreciates Torah learning.
It is up to you to choose what kind of mate you want based upon your actions – spiritually and your effort to find the right one.
It makes sense that if one wants their children to follow in the path of the Torah, that one should make efforts in Torah observance. Thus before marriage is a good time to make the effort to uplift their spirituality through Torah.
The Torah says Jews should marry Jewish. This helps a person and their children follow in the path of the Torah, ultimately helping them to leave fulfilling and happy lives and also to help them reach their potential in life.
Home for Love and Growth
Most parents want their children to be happy. They give them the physical needs, but it also is important for a person to provide for their child’s spiritual needs.
This means sending them to a Yeshiva or Torah Day School. Providing a home that is conducive to growth in Judaism – a Kosher Home, one that the Shabbat is Holy, one in which the parents and family treat each other with love, warmth and respect. A home where words of Torah are heard regularly.
Using each Second Productively
Every Second a person can gain worlds. Instead of waiting on line, or taking a bus ride and twiddling one’s thumbs one can read Tehillim, or learn a Mishna or some Torah.
Do it in a kosher way
Everything that is non-kohsr can be done in a Kosher way. For instance one can eat kosher Chinese food – instead of unkosher. One can eat kosher “bacon” (called beef-fry) instead of unkosher. One can eat kosher deli sandwiches, or kosher “shrimp”, or kosher pizza instead of the non-kosher version. The same taste but a much different spiritual result.
Keeping kosher affects the way one thinks. Once a person asked a rabbi a question. They didn’t understand a certain concept in Judaism. So he told her “Keep Kosher for a month and you will understand it.”
Use your mind to Change the Mundane into Spiritual
Once I met a woman. She said she was a recreational director in a hospital. I told her a story.
There was once a man he used to do a lot of kindness to others. Every day, he would get up early, and deliver fresh milk at their doorstep.
He would do this for hundreds of people a day.
He was a milk man.
Two people can be doing the exact same thing but one will receive great reward while the other will not.
If the milk man is doing it so that people will be able to drink fresh milk daily – he receives a reward.
If the milk man is doing it just to make money – and couldn’t cares less about the people – he receives less reward.
If this recreational director, would do her job to make people happy she gets a great reward.
If she did it to just make money, she gets less reward.
This can apply to any situation. If a person works so they can make money for their family to provide for their physical needs, and Torah education, they will get a great reward.
If they do it just to accumulate money in their bank account they will get less reward.
The Full Shopping Cart
There used to be a marketing promotion to attract people to a supermarket. They would allow a person to take as much groceries that they could take in a specific amount of time.
People who knew they had 5 minutes would first run to the meat, because it was the most expensive. Then stock up on other items until time was up.
Let’s they played music, enamoring music and put old friends in the isles. Would you stop to listen to the music or talk to the friends? You would probably keep yourself focused and speak with them after the 5 minutes. In life keeping our eyes on our priorities – gets us far. Using our time wisely to accumulate Torah and Mitzvot is the goal of this earthly world. The next world – is to enjoy the reward of that that we reaped.
The Flitting Bird
A person remembering – “His days are as a passing shadow” [Tehillim / Psalms 144:4] – Not as the shadow of a wall or tree, but as that of a flitting bird. (Aha. Kohelet Rabbah 1.2) – helps them to keep focused on priorities.