I was pretty good at pool.

Not like the professional billiard players that can call which pocket the ball will fall.

But decent.

Now, I hardly play.

Too busy.

The objective of one version of pool is to knock cue ball (the white ball) into other balls with a pool stick and try to get your balls -either striped or solid – into the pockets before the other player. The Eight Ball must be sunk last.

Emotional Pool Game

Life is a bit like the game of pool.

There is a situation – like a cue ball – that knocks into a person.

The person – the colored ball – moves based upon the direction the cue ball hit him or her.

Choose Your Reaction

For Instance:

The Slow Cashier

You are waiting on line for to buy bread and several other items. The cashier, on his cell phone, slowly punches the prices into the cash register. He makes 5 mistakes on 5 of the items you purchased. You are in a rush.

It is understandable that you are irked.

You could react like what your emotions tell you – “Rank him out! Tell him he shouldn’t be on the phone when serving a customer! Especially you who buys thousands of dollars from the store every year. He should be more careful. Let me call the manager! I’m in a rush and he is taking his sweet time.”

or you could react the way that your mind tells you – “Let me be patient. It’s understandable to make errors. I will point out to him in a gentle manner, without accusations, that he made a mistake on several of the items I purchased.”

or
Child Responsibility

You tell your child for the fifth time to clean up the toys from the floor. Before he cleans up, you inadvertently step on a toy and slip. Trying to catch your balance, Your hand knocks over a bowl of chocolate cake mix and pours all over your brand new suit that you were about to wear to synagogue.

You could react like what your emotions tell you – “Yell at him! I told him five time to clean up the toys. Why doesn’t he listen? This suit was over $750 and now it has chocolate all over it! Tell him he is grounded for the entire day.”

or you could react the way that your mind tells you – “Let me be patient. I myself do leave things out without putting things away. Sometimes children just mimic their parent’s actions. I have to set an example. Let me gently explain to him and set an example of the way to put things away promptly after using them.”

Self-Control

Basically, you can choose at any point in time your reaction to a situation. This is what we call in Judaism – Freedom of Choice. We are expected to make decisions based upon what Torah says is acceptable – even though at times we might feel we know better or our emotions push us in the opposite direction. (See Pirkei Avot 4:1 – Who is Strong? The one who conquers his inclination.)

G-d knows the absolute best decision you can make – these are called the Mitzvot. Choosing them we become free. Choosing them, we do the best for ourselves and the best for the world.

My Rebbe, Rabbi Zecharia Mines, z”l used to tell me – “The mind should control the heart. The heart should not control the mind.”

You control the situation. The situation should not control you.