Making Marriage Work – the Secrets of Success

MP900384825When G-d Created Man – He created man and woman as a single entity. He then separated the woman from the man – taking Adam’s Rib.

A couple that is destined together are really two parts of one being that are united.

Their Goal is to Achieve a Higher Purpose Together. A man’s wife helps him to perfect himself. (One Reason why she should encourage him to learn Torah)

The terminology the Torah uses is “He made her a Helpmate against him.”

Why? If a man is fit she helps him. If he acts improperly she is against him. (hopefully in a tactful way)

Man is Ish (Aleph, Yud, Shin) in Hebrew. Woman is Ishah (Aleph, Shin, Heh). If Hash-m (G-d – represented by the Yud and the Heh) reigns between them through acting properly by observance of the precepts of the Torah, then there will be peace. However, if we remove the letters of Hash-m – we have Esh and Esh (Fire).

Thus, Torah helps a family and marriage to be happy.

There are many Torah resources available to make marriage Work like :

TEN RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE / An Exercise for increasing happiness and confidence – By Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

Aish Hatorah Marriage Section

Marriage by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Hundreds of families rely on him to guide them through the rapids of life. A wise and sensitive guide to making any marriage even better! Rabbi Pliskin shares the common sense, practical approach that has worked wonders for hundreds of families. With his positive attitude and encouraging comments, he illustrates his advice with hundreds of real-life stories.

The River, The Kettle and the Bird. Which explains that there are three stages of marriage. One is when the relationship is like a business deal, another when it is like a joint venture and another when they are like one being.

Each stage requires work and investment.

The Garden of Peace – Men’s Edition
The benefits that a husband will attain both on a spiritual and a material level defy description, once a husband gets to the root of his marital problems and makes his wife first place in his life. The nagging and complaints will disappear, as well as the petty requests and the demands on his time. The husband will feel the benefit of Divine assistance and will succeed in whatever he does. Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody.

Women’s Wisdom – The Garden of Peace – Women’s Edition
There are times when we ask ourselves, “Why aren’t we fulfilling our potential? Are we aware of our own tremendous power?” A person must know their phenomenal intrinsic value and capabilities. Through this understanding, they derive the strength to withstand all of her trials and challenges, and they becomes more effective in building the home, as King Solomon says, “A wise woman builds her home, and the fool, with her own hands destroys it” (Mishlei 14:1). Includes : marriage, successfully raising children, dealing with financial matters, and even food!

Another Book is:

The First Year of Marriage: Enhancing the Success of Your Marriage Right from the Start — And Even Before It Begins. R. Dr. Twersky gives practical self-help advice from the standpoint of the Torah. He is well respected in the Jewish Community.

Artscroll and Feldheim have many books on the subject

The Shmuz has audio on Jewish marriage and Jewish self-help topics
Here is a link to one of their audio lectures on Marriage:
Marriage: I Can’t Respect Him / Her

There are organizations in the Jewish Community to Promote peace

Like the Five Towns Marriage Initiative
Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops, and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings, 10:00–11:00 p.m. For the hotline or for more information, call 516-430-5280 or e‑mail

Some also promote peace and prevent domestic violence

Shalom Task Force – Promoting Healthy Marriages and Peaceful Family Relationships –

Their Hotline Number is (888) 883 2323 or (718) 337 3700

If a woman needs help she should not hesitate to call these services – they can help her receive help, cope, deal with psychologically and overcome the trials of domestic abuse – be it psychological or physical. They are strictly confidential.

Deciding to Observe Torah not only increases happiness between the couple, but helps increase the happiness of the family. Children feel when there is tension between husband and wife.

They are happy when peace reigns. They are happy when the family lives a life of harmony and wholesome goodness together. Peace and Happiness is within reach with the proper effort.

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