The Martial Arts – the ancient art of self-defense.
I am not well versed in martial arts.
I do know of various types – karate, tai-kwando, judo, Torah Dojo. Each one has their own philosophy defending oneself. Many use momentum of the enemy for defense or defeat.
Everyone has an enemy. This enemy seeks to destroy a person in this world and the next. He is well versed in the tactics of war, seduction and attack.
It is not a person. It is the enemy that is inside each and every one of us. Some call it – desire, lust, greed, hatred. The Torah calls it the evil inclination (Yetzer HaRah).
To counter balance it one also has a conscience. The Torah calls it – the good inclination (Yetzer HaTov).
As these two forces are constantly present in an individual – to balance their actions – at all times, most of the time a person has free choice to choose whether to do good or commit a transgression.
The Spirit of Folly
The Torah states that a person will only sin when a spirit of folly enters into him or her.
Meaning that a person will sin only when they are not thinking rationally.
An example. A man who is happily married with children. Little by little he develops emotional dependence towards his secretary. Developing the relationship with her causes strife in his house and in the end – divorce. Initially, desire doesn’t seem so bad. In the long term – it broke a happy household.
Or a person with a temper. He is the boss. His employee does something improper. Instead of speaking with them in a respectful manner – he blurts out his anger. He let off his steam, and maybe even got his point across to correct the situation – but he also caused his employee to be less motivated. The same applies to one’s family, one’s spouse, a friend, or one’s children.
Transgressing the Torah, one does bad to themselves many times more than to anyone else.
Transgression Prevention
So what is a person to do to prevent themselves from transgressing?
According to Torah each person has free choice at every moment.
Even when one is very angry he has the power to control himself – to make a rational decision.
To understand how to fight against the enemy – the evil inclination – we must understand its ways.
It uses many tactics to cause a person to transgress.
One of the tactics is found in Judo.
In Judo one uses the momentum and the force of someone coming towards you to your advantage – for instance to flip them.
The Evil Inclination does the same thing. When a person is in the momentum of being angry – it makes a suggestion – “hit your child”, “slap that person”, “use foul language.” Now you – have a choice – should I follow the suggestion of the evil inclination or not. You are in control at that moment.
Ways that the evil inclination causes a person to sin.
1. Chipping away at the person, little by little.
For instance it doesn’t tell a person to eat non-Kosher directly. It says “Why don’t you go to MacDonalds to relieve yourself.” – which is permitted. Then the next time at the time of one’s thirst, when passing by – “How about a coke?” Then the next time it says “Why not a coke?” And at the counter it suggests “Those fries look very delicious – why not get a small pack?” Afterwards “It say how about a fillet of fish.” Until it suggests to the person to eat a cheese-burger – which is not kosher.
2. When the person is in a state of pandemonium – it suggests a transgression. Like when the Jews thought Moses died – the Jews became emotional vulnerable. At that moment, the evil inclination suggested a the Jews to do the sin of the Golden Calf.
Tactics against the Evil Inclination
1. Remember you are in control. Know that you are in control has a calming effect. Use it in all situations. Don’t say “He made me so angry, that’s why I yelled,” – You are in control.
2. Make a fence – For instance – there are complete set of laws regarding how one is to conduct themselves with the opposite gender to prevent one from becoming emotionally attached or physically attracted. They are called the laws of Yichud / seclusion. It includes not being alone with a member of the opposite gender in a closed room, apartment or office. One can make boundaries between them and employees of the opposite gender to only call them by their family name – Like “Mr. Cohen” instead of their first name. One can avoid buying sodas at non-kosher restaurants, etc.
3. Play out situations in your mind. Sometimes a person gets angry or emotional when certain buttons are pushed.One should mentally play out a situation and imagine in a time of cool, what would be the most appropriate reaction.
4. Learn books of Mussar (Ethics) – that explain the dangers and pitfalls of bad reactions and the tremendous reward of acting with nobility.
5. Ask for help from others – whether it be advice or to help calm you at certain points.
6. Use delaying Tactics – I won’t get angry now, I will count to twenty and then I will state my point. I will not eat the food now , I will eat it in one hour.
7. Nip it in the bud – at times we recognize the suggestions of the evil inclination. They are suggestions placed in the mind – that go against morality or may even seem innocent. Once one recognizes it, one should disregard it and flee. Perhaps doing the opposite of the suggestion. A poor person asks you for a quarter. The evil inclination says “He is probably going to use it for alcohol. Don’t give it to him!” Recognizing that this is the evil inclination – you can counter by giving him the quarter with a big smile or giving him a dollar.
8. Know what Hash-m wants from you – and act accordingly. Sometimes one must take a step back and ask themselves – “How does Hash-m want me to act with this person.” This helps a person understand the proper perspective of how to act with others.
9. Love your fellow as yourself – place yourself in your fellow’s shoes. If you were in such a situation, how would you want to be treated? Speak softly and kindly – but state your point. Anything that can be said with anger can be said softly and be better accepted.
10. Pray – to Hash-m to help you overcome your trials and become a person that you want to be.