Getting the Most from Your Marriage – and from Life

CB048735A Couple Forever
A couple in Judaism is a couple forever. Once one marries – the couple will remain together usually even after death. Together they are to sail the ship of life to arrive at the purpose that G-d deemed appropriate for them based upon their strengths. The Torah is the key for them to reach this destination.

The Best Business

Onkelus son of Kolonikus, the nephew of the Emperor Titus, converted to Judaism.

The Caesar asked “why did you convert to Judaism?”

“I was just listening to your advice” he replied

Very surprised, he responded “I need never gave you such advice.”

“My dear Caesar when I asked to regarding what I can do to be successful in business, you told me to buy goods that are of low value but afterwards the price will go up high. Today the Jews are persecuted and despised, but their merchandise is very valuable and I am sure in the future it’s value will rise and I will reap great profit.” (See the whole story here)

A Secret for Success
A Secret for success is to know the true value of an item. If you can buy it inexpensively but it has tremendous worth – that is the product you should buy.

The wisdom of success in business is knowing to find what has value – or what will have value in the future.

Torah Study has Unimaginable Award.
The value of doing one Mitzvah is inestimable. A person can’t really receive complete reward for a mitzvah in this world – because the value of one mitzvah has a greater value than all that this world contains.

Every word of Torah – learned is as if a person did all the 613 commandments. Multiply that by all the words said when learning Torah and one receives a tremendous amount of reward.

The woman receives the same reward as her husband for the Mitzvot he does. The couple’s relationship according to Judaism continues after they go to the next world and they reap their rewards for the Mitzvot they did there.

Torah is the Key to Reaching One’s Potential
The Torah holds the answer to what one’s potential and purpose is in life. When a man studies Torah, he becomes closer to his purpose in life. It becomes clearer to him. His wife helps him by patiently awaiting for him to come home from learning Torah. This is one of the roles of a woman – to help her husband reach his potential. She has this ability and responsibility. It also gives him great pleasure.

Opportunity Cost
In economics we learn about opportunity cost. The classic example that they give is exchanging guns for butter. Meaning if you had $1000 to spend – guns cost $10 a piece and butter costs one dollar a pound. You could buy either thousand pounds of butter or 100 guns. The more guns that you buy the less butter you could buy. The more butter you buy the less guns you can purchase.

This concept is relevant when calculating what to do with our time. Our time can be spent achieving life or escaping from it. Time – in Judaism – can be used as a means to produce inestimable reward.

The Value of Time
Perceptive parents appreciate the value of the time of each individual of the family. They could be doing things that are productive or not. Even things that seem unproductive can be useful – for instance a person needs some time to recharge. The recharging is productive because it helps a person to produce. Sometimes the person through play helps others to cheer them up or give them a good time.

Value of Torah
The value of Torah is not only measured in terms of spiritual reward – but in the value of it guiding and directing the family in a beneficial and loving manner. Torah learning provides positive benefits like the improvement of the character traits of the person learning it and being a source of meaning and satisfaction.  When a wife realizes the value of learning Torah she will encourage her husband to dedicate some time regularly to learn Torah with the group or with an individual or at the synagogue.

A business  person realizes the value of time – that it’s productivity can be maximized and that worlds can be gained by a few moments.

An Encouraging Attitude
With tact, a wife can encourage her husband to learn Torah. We now understand why some women demand their husbands learn Torah all day – while they do what they can to support the family. They recognize the value of the benefits accrued to those who learn and observe Torah values.

Upholding the World
But it is not only this they realize – they realize that Torah study also upholds the world. Pirkei Avot says “Upon three things does the world stand: Upon Torah, Upon Divine Service (prayer) and on doing acts of Kindness.”

Even if a woman can’t get her husband to learn all day – a few minutes regularly daily is also good.

An Extra Requirement When Searching for a Mate
A single woman – also can gain by searching for a mate that has an interest and a desire to learn Torah.

Reward of Women
The main reward of a woman will be through the Mitzvah of encouraging her husband to learn and sending her kids to a Torah day school – like it says in the Talmud (Berachot).

For places to learn Torah see the Links Section or Join our Five Alive Learning program where we learn with a person five minutes over the phone a week.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized by admin. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *