An old woman was selling fresh fruits and vegetables on a peddlers cart. “Fresh Apples!” She shouted.

Watching were little children, awaiting the right time to make their move.

The leader gave the signal and three little boys each grabbed an Apple. They ran away with all their heart. The old lady, with no hope of catching the swift youth, yelled “come back little swindlers!”

Just then a person interjected “Excuse me Madame. I’d like to purchase some produce.” It was her best customer.

She quickly understood, to vent her anger on this person or even to show her anger, would jeopardize  her sales relationship with this client. She put on a great big Smile. “Hello Mr. Jones, so nice to see you!” She beamed.

In one moment, quicker than a bat of an eye she changed her mood.

We many a time let our emotions dictate our mood. Someone angers us. It ruins our day.

Really, this is not the Torah way.

The way of the Torah is to be in control of one’s emotions and mood.

In Pirkei Avot /Ethics of the Fathers it states “Jealousy, and Honor (seeking) and (following one’s) desires) takes a person out of the world. “

Why those three things? Apparently, each of those three traits makes one dependent upon others for happiness. If a person gives him honor, he is happy. If not, he is not. If a person has more than their neighbor, they are happy. If not, not. Desires also put one’s happiness in the hands of others.

If one’s happiness is dependent upon oneself, others cannot hurt you emotionally.

Boy am I angry! He called me a chicken.
What,  that guy didn’t say please.
Look what those people did!
What do you want me to do he got me upset!

It is mind over emotions, rather than emotions over mind.

“You ruined my day!” Is not a valid excuse. Our happiness, mental health and mood are to be in our hands, not in someone else’s.

Being moody is no longer out of one’s control.

You choose your mood. Don’t let others or your emotions dictate your state of happiness.

Emotional maturity was a hot topic several years ago.

Exercises exist to become Emotioanally independent.

One is to list all situations that trigger your emotions. List aside each your regular reaction. Then list your desired reaction or the best possible reaction. Then act out those situations in your mind. Imagine yourself reacting in the best possible way.

If one has a bad temper, Torah books exist to improve their temper. One is “Anger: the inner teacher” By rabbi Zelig Pliskin. He provides stories, methods and examples to reduce anger.

Anger may also be caused by lack of Emuna / Belief in Hash-m’s goodness in guiding the world.  An excellent book that helps one to improve Emuna / Belief in Hash-m is called Living Emunah – Living a Life of Serenity through Faith” By Rabbi David Ashear. The second edition has also come out recently.

Many of one’s traits depend upon one’s self esteem. If one believes in themselves, they need not put down others. They need not attack with venom when someone ruffles their feathers. They are more in control.

Going cold turkey on news can help one to get out of being depressed with all the news in the world. Knowing the headlines is fine, but being an addict to news can cause the blues.

There are many traits one can work on – stinginess, belief in G-d, lash on harsh / gossip & speaking badly about others, jealousy, honor seeking, etc.

Torah Study also helps a person to improve their attitude on life. The Torah hashkafa / outlook and just plain learning Torah helps a person to improve their character traits. In it one learns that one’s actions are purposeful and at times the gravity of one’s actions. An example, speaking badly of others – even if it it 100% true – called Lashon HaRah. Lash on HaRah can destroy lives even though it is just words one expresses, one can cause tremendous damage with words. One can also cause tremendous good as well.

G-d gave us tools to use them for the good, to use them to build, to use them to heal. Using them for the good is our job in life to make this world a better place one action at a time.
The next time you imagine

I had an Oldsmobile silhouette. One day I received a notice from the GM Corporation. The envelope said something like “Recall Information: Open Immediately.”

The letter said that due to malfunctioning inner door handle of the sliding door they were recalling vehicles from this and this date to the dealerships for a free replacement of the door handles.

Yes, like I have the time to leave my car at the dealership for a day for a door handle? I thought

In the end I let the car go with the old door handle.

Most probably tens of thousands of people who owned the same vehicle received the same letter.

But I don’t think anyone ever received a letter that said ” We are recalling your vehicle. We chose you to let everybody else who bought this car about the recall. please let all your friends know about the recall. Thanks.”

The Torah was given to the Jews at Sinai by G.d in front of millions of people. Many religions agree about that. They just say, but you know what G.d changed His mind about His laws and His people and sent one person to tell the world about it.”

If G.d wanted to recall His Torah , that was given in front of millions of people, He would have to “recall” His Torah in front of millions of people to tell them He “kind of changed His mind.”

G.d changing His mind also is unlikely due to the fact He is omniscient – knowing all in the past, present and future.

 The world follows religions, but many ignore this point – the “recall” never happened.

What’s a person to do? Learn the Noahide laws from the Torah

and learn the Laws G.d really gave for all the world to follow for a peaceful world.

A pessimist sees the glass half-empty. An optimist drinks it.

Torah is optimistic.

The reason – because G-d is overflowing with kindness all day. He does only good, even though we do not always see it.

If we counted our blessings and appreciated them, we would feel so indebted to G-d that we would serve Him by following the 7 Noahide Laws or 613 commandments for Jews all day.

But we tend to overlook, forget, ignore and lull-over all the goodness that we receive continuously on a daily basis.

One reason why we are commanded to honor our parents is due to the great self-less kindness they did for us for years – without expectation of compensation.

A cute story I read by Rabbi Jonathan Rietti (I don’t think it is true) is once a young boy left a note on the kitchen table before leaving to school. It said:

Mowing the lawn                        $5.00
Making My Bed                           $1.00
Playing with my Little Brother –    .75
Taking out trash             –             1.00
Good Report Card                       $5.00
Raking the Leaves                      $2.00

Total:                                  $14.75

The mother was aghast at the note. She decided to write her own note on the other side of his to her son and leave it on his bed. It read:

Carrying you inside me 9 months: No Charge
Staying up with you on many nights: No Charge
Praying for You : No Charge
The time and tears you caused me through the years: No Charge
The nights filled with dread and worries ahead: No Charge.
Sum total of all the love I showed you: No charge

When her son came home and read the note, his eyes welled up with tears. He turned over the note and wrote – “Paid in full” on his own note.*

People complain about their trials or others trials. Some think they are doing Hash-m a favor by coming to pray at the synagogue or doing a mitzvah. Some snub their nose at the prospect of Judaism in their lives – they say not interested.

To them Hash-m can answer: Giving you life : No Charge, Giving You Children: No Charge, Giving You health: No Charge. Giving You eyes: No Charge.

Instead of asking what G-d has done for me lately? one should appreciate the tremendous kindness G-d provides at every waking moment.

==
*From Living Emunah – Acheiving serenity through Faith, By R. David Ashear, Artscroll, Chapter 59 – Who Owes Whom? – p. 142

* to order a laminated copy of the above card with the “Thank You Hashem” Prayer – please email us with your coordinates. 

Walking down the road, a young man noticed a elderly gentleman sitting by a rolling walker. The man, elegantly dressed, was peering at his watch and looking down the street.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

The man was noticeably disturbed.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“No. No, my ride is late”

“Do you live in the area”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I also live here and would like to know if you would like to know if you’d be interested in coming to our synagogue to learn about Judaism.”

“Not for me. I am not interested. I don’t agree with your kind of people and way of life. Judaism is antiquated.”

“Really? That’s interesting. How can you then explain why Jewish people survived all these thousands of years while the ancient Egyptian, the Greeks, the Romans and Babylonian disappeared? “

“A coincidence?.”

“Following these laws are one reason that we survived”

“And what is the other reason”

“G-d has protected us all these years.”

“Who says that G-d really exists? I don’t believe in anything I don’t see.”

“Do you believe in radio waves? You can’t see them but you know they exist because you can hear the radio. You know someone is behind the door if you hear someone knocking – even though you can’t see them yet.”

“If G-d exists, why does he allow such evil to happen in the world?”

“Let’s put that question aside for now. Do you believe that Picasso existed?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“There are paintings. There are newspapers and people who knew him.”

“Yes exactly how you know G-d exists. Just like when you see a painting you know there is a painter, when you see nature you know there is a creator. Take a chick – Do you think it was formed by random molecules flying around? Look at a tree. You are an intelligent person, Do you believe that all the cells, and branches and fruits of every single tree are produced by atoms randomly flying around?”

“It’s more complicated than that. I don’t want to shake your faith.”

“Don’t worry. My main concern is truth. I don’t want to follow a faith is not based upon truth or logic. Please Go ahead, how do you explain that there are billions of people in the world and they all look alike?”

“…excuse me I must call my lift company to find out where is my car.”

“Do you want me to drop you off, My car is parked down the block.”

“No thank you. Please excuse me as I must make a phone call.”

[after the phone call]

“If you want to know why bad things happen to good people…”

“Yes.”

“G-d gave people freedom of choice. If every person who wanted to strike someone else, their hand would freeze, there would not be freedom of choice. But just like their is a nature in the physical world there is a nature in the spiritual world. A person does bad, bad will come back to them. A person who does good, good will come back to them. And it is all calculated. If a man is insulted. It might mean that he insulted someone else previously. Thus his punishment is a result of his action. Like a person who drops a vase on the floor and it shatters into pieces – he should not complain that it broke – because the gravity pulled it down. A person who did bad should not complain that bad was done to them – it is the nature of the world – do good and get good. and the opposite.

But even in this there is a calculation.

Moses asked G-d to show him his ways.

G-d showed Moses a scene. The first man came to a well and forgot his purse. A second man came and took the purse. A third man came to take a drink. The first man came to retrieve his purse and accused the third man of taking it. The third man denied it and thus the first killed the third.
Moses saw this and was perplexed of the justice of what had transpired.

G-d explained:

The first man stole the purse from the second man. The second man finding his purse took it. The third man had killed the father of the first man. The first man thus killed the third man avenging the killing of his father by the third.”

“So why do people suffer unjustly?”

“I am sorry to assume you must have had a difficult life.”

“No. As a professor, My life was quite good.”

“So why do you look at the bad in life. Look at the good. A person can see life as half full or half empty. Or the completely full – like it says in Pirkei Avot – who is rich? the one who is content with his lot.”

“All faiths are the same, they are based upon – faith in the person who started the religion . It is belief not logic.”

“Not really. You are correct that most Faith’s are based upon the belief in the founders words that they spoke with G-d. Judaism is different in that it not just Moses, our teacher , heard the voice of G-d giving the commandments, but all of the Jewish people. Millions of people heard, G-d giving of the 10 commandments with Moses.”

This conversation is based upon a true story. The Professor was a former professor of Bio-Chemistry in Oxford university.

My Rebbe used to say an explanation on the verse – “How great are your wonders L-rd. All you made with wisdom.” He said that it is a wonder how both the highly educated and simple person have equal choice in believing in G-d. At times a Highly Educated University Professor will not believe and a simple person will believe in G-d.

Do You Believe

Many a time a person says they do not believe in G-d, but they really do. It is not that they explored the question on a philosophical level and came to a conclusion. It is that they first thought it is inconvenient to believe in G-d because belief entails acting in a certain manner. They would rather not conform to those restrictions. Rather than to be bound by them they say they don’t believe, but really they believe.

In Pirkei Avot it states “Know what to answer a non-believer  / heretic [in Torah].” This this doesn’t mean that you have to debate with them. It just means that you’ll know that which to answer a person who asks you questions regarding the Torah for your own sake. So that you will not have your faith in Judaism shaken by questions of heretics.

Some religions tell you to just believe and be saved. One must be very careful, because based upon one’s beliefs and actions will make the difference whether after life they will go up or down. The word “believe” lets you know this – in the word between the letters “be” and “ve” is the word “lie”.

Judaism – based upon Torah – is the only religion that millions of people heard G-d speaking to them to give a law – the Torah. G-d doesn’t change his mind. Most other religions were started by one man who said he had a prophesy from G-d. What do you believe more, if one person told you something or millions of people told you something?

The amount of current followers – as opposed to the amount of actual witnesses of the transmission of the law – is irrelevant to selecting the true belief system. Many people may chose to follow a religion because it is easier or more appealing to the eye.

Some religions say that “G-d changed His mind after the incident of the Golden Calf.” Obviously, He did not.
For three reasons

1. G-d did not change the Jews for another people because G-d knows all. He will not give a people a law if he knows they will not or cannot follow it.

2. After the incident of the Golden Calf – G-d instructs Moses to build a Mishkan / Tabernacle where He would dwell. If G-d did not forgive them – why would G-d dwell among the Jewish people?

3. G-d does not make up laws and then “change His mind.” G-d knows that the laws He gives are observable. If they weren’t he would not expect people to do them. The laws that G-d gave to the Jews are so fundamental – that He would not change them. Would any country do away with the law for cars to stop at a red light? G-d gave laws to the Jews rest on the Shabbat – to show the world G-d created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. Why would He want to nullify that?

The sin of the Golden Calf was the worst sin a person could commit – worshiping an object – whether living or not. Yet G-d forgave the Jewish people. So no other sin a nation or person could commit – would be as great. Meaning G-d would forgive any sin if the person does Teshuva / Repent sincerely.

After- Life

A person should clarify their beliefs. For in the end we will be held accountable. G-d gave us the tool to find the right faith – the honest and sincere pursuit of truth.

Kid: “Mr. Professor How are You today? Nice to see you. Did you happen to think about we spoke about the other day?”

Professor: “Yes and I think it is rubbish!”

Kid: “Really.”

Professor: “Yes. Prove to me that there is a G-d if bad things happen to good people.

Kid: “Well, the question of Why do bad things happen to good people was asked by Moses to G-d himself.”

Professor: “What did he say?”
 
Kid: “G-d said – paraphrasing – that during the course of one’s life a person does good and bad. At times a person is punished for the bad.

Torah Jews believe that people have a soul and it can be reincarnated into a new body, & that an afterlife exists. Transgressions done in a previous life – that a person did not repent for – are still in the account, and thus at times a person who did sins in a previous life may be cleansed from them in this life through suffering.

In any case the suffering serves as a triple purpose – one to cleanse a person from the bad they did in the past – be it in this life or a past life, it helps a person to reflect upon life in order to better himself and it is an opportunity for him or her to receive greater good in this world.

Once a man was to travel for business. He stepped on a rusty nail and the doctor said he couldn’t travel. He missed the ship he was to take – benefiting him. The ship he was to take eventually sunk. Had he not stepped on the nail – he would have been on the ship.

G-d sees the entire life span of a soul – from its inception – which was thousands of years ago. A person only sees – a span of a lifetime – at most 120 years, if he or she lives long.

 If you see a building – do you assume there is an architect and a builder – because there is plan and purpose and order. When one sees the world – the plan and purpose and order – we can similarly surmise that there is a creator.”

Professor: “So what do you say about the existence of bad? Why did G-d let the Holocaust happen? Doesn’t that disprove G-d’s existence?”

Kid: “No. Not at all. From the existence of a world of order – we learn that there is a creator – just like the existence of a building testifies that there is an architect.”

“If the architect burned down one of the floors of his building – would  you think that there was no architect. No. You would agree that there was an architect, but you wouldn’t understand the purpose of the architect in burning one of the floors of his building.”

“Now that you know there is an ‘architect’ in the world, you just would have to find out why he went ahead and burned the floor down.”

“Just like the holocaust or any bad thing – the bad that occured – does not disprove that there exists a world of order.”

“And to tell you the truth, there is much more good in the world than bad. Most of the people of the world survive every day. They are fed. They have clothes. They breath. They have money. They live decent lives.

Yes, we can try to understand why suffering exists, but it behooves us to recognize that there is much more good than bad in the world.”

You told me you had a rather good life. Why not look at the good that you had in your life and be thankful to G-d – rather than looking at the bad that occurs occasionally to others and think illogically that G-d doesn’t exist? You may look at the glass half empty. The Torah says to look at the Glass half- full.”